Microaggressions..Revelations of Subconscious Bias

This week's topic has been such an eye opener! A young woman, E, (about 21 years old) who is attending college full time and works part time, when her schedule permits, at the center where I am employed. E seems to practice a stream of consciousness style of verbal communication. Consequently, I have always regarded her as guilty of careless speech. Until this week, I have always thought that E's careless speech was the result of her youth (although I have been acquainted with her for 3 years now and this habit has not changed). Now, I think that microaggression is the more accurate label for her thoughtless comments.

About a year ago, I cut my once very long hair into a pixie cut. Last week, when E and I were working in a room together, she paused from helping a child to wash his hands and said to me, "You know, when I am old like you, I will cut my hair short". (By the way, I am 37 years old). Before I watched Dr. Sue's presentation, I just thought that it was another characteristically irresponsible comment made E. Now, I believe that her comment could be classified as a mircroaggression.

Another example of E's bias against old(er) people came up this week. I paused in speech while talking to another coworker (in E's presence) as I was calculating the probability of entering a random five digit code in the center's door security system and coming up with a valid entry code, allowing one entry without an assigned PIN, in my head (as had just occurred). E, who was not involved in the conversation at all, said "Give it a minute, she's too old to do two things at once". In response, I turned my back to E and gave the
answer to my other co-worker.

After both of those incidents, I wanted to say something rude back to E, but restrained myself. I have never regarded E as venerable, so I wasn't really hurt by her comments. I just found them to be insensitive and uncalled for. Perhaps they were lame attempts at humor or to gain attention. I actually think that calculating the correct answer to a somewhat complex probability problem in my head was enough of a retort to disprove E's  assertion that I am "too old to do two things at once".

After watching Dr. Sue's presentation, I had a better idea of what motivates people like E to utter such things. (E's biases are not limited to people who are older than she. They extend to people who [she perceives to be] heavier and less educated as evidenced by careless comments that I have heard her utter to others. Dr. Sue's presentation has caused me to be much more thoughtful in speech (which has been a long- term endeavor) and aware of the different nuances in the spoken language. I'd rather not offend anyone or be thought of in the way that I perceive E.

Reference

Laureate (2011)(producer). Video:“Microaggressions in Everyday Life”.

Culture and Diversity

I polled a friend and three relatives regarding their personal definitions of diversity and culture. Here they are:

 Culture is “they way you’re brought up”. Diversity is “difference”. –Doug, 49

Culture is “a way of life”.  Diversity is “differentiating ways that people live”-Blue Sky, 15

Culture “equals lifestyle”. Diversity “equals difference”- Dany, 37

Culture “is commonalities between people that form identity, not limited to ethnicity”. Diversity is “differences within a population” –Mary, 62

Some aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied that are included in the definitions above are, relating to culture: “way of life” or “lifestyle” and “identity”; relating to diversity: “differences” and “differences within a population”.

Some items that have been omitted related to culture include the examples of age,  race, ethnicity, language, socioeconomic status, abilities, class, parenting patterns and the fact that cultures exist along a spectrum.

I think that my poll participants did a great job with their definitions of diversity in that they all knew that difference is a primary concept. Blue Sky highlighted that diversity was related to the way that people live which related directly to his definition of culture. Mary unknowingly agreed with Blue Sky’s definition when she defined diversity as “differences within a population”.

This poll gave me an impression of how people define culture and diversity. I enjoyed discussing concepts with others that have been limited until now to academic discussion boards. These discussions with my family and friend have not changed my thinking about these issues.

 

If My Family and I Were Forced To Relocate to Another Country...

If my family and I were forced to relocate to another country, I would have everything that is important to me already. I know, it sounds like a cliche', but I am hard pressed to name one, much less three material objects that I would take with me. My husband, my sons and their father, my sister and her son are the most important aspects of my life. If I could take my [definition of] immediate family, I would have everything that I want and need to start a new life in a foreign country. Without these people in my life, I would be hard pressed to find meaning, purpose and motivation. I would lead the life of a religious ascetic, renouncing all but my religious practices.

Difficult times can teach us a great deal about what is important to us. Precious stones, metals and luxuries hold no lure for me in ordinary life. I have few momentos other than photographs, which I assume, would be destroyed in a disaster. I love books, but would not saddle myself with them if I was forced to relocate. Material things are not important to me. While I think that there are some who value possessions or money over human life, I think that the vast majority of people hold similar feelings to my own. I do wonder, however, how many other people could not come up any material items that they would like to bring to another country.

The insight that I have gained from this exercise is that I have no attachment to material objects. I believe that things are not important.  I asked this question of a few of my family members. My husband, an artist, said that he would take his sketchbook. One of my sons would take his Ipod, the other would take his phone and I believe that my sister, a reiki master and medium, would take her pendulum.

After several days of pondering this question, I could not come up with a single thing that I would be willing to take along with me if I were forced to relocate to another country. As one of my favorite gurus says, "Why be attached?"