This week's topic has been such an eye opener! A young woman, E, (about 21 years old) who is attending college full time and works part time, when her schedule permits, at the center where I am employed. E seems to practice a stream of consciousness style of verbal communication. Consequently, I have always regarded her as guilty of careless speech. Until this week, I have always thought that E's careless speech was the result of her youth (although I have been acquainted with her for 3 years now and this habit has not changed). Now, I think that microaggression is the more accurate label for her thoughtless comments.
About a year ago, I cut my once very long hair into a pixie cut. Last week, when E and I were working in a room together, she paused from helping a child to wash his hands and said to me, "You know, when I am old like you, I will cut my hair short". (By the way, I am 37 years old). Before I watched Dr. Sue's presentation, I just thought that it was another characteristically irresponsible comment made E. Now, I believe that her comment could be classified as a mircroaggression.
Another example of E's bias against old(er) people came up this week. I paused in speech while talking to another coworker (in E's presence) as I was calculating the probability of entering a random five digit code in the center's door security system and coming up with a valid entry code, allowing one entry without an assigned PIN, in my head (as had just occurred). E, who was not involved in the conversation at all, said "Give it a minute, she's too old to do two things at once". In response, I turned my back to E and gave the
answer to my other co-worker.
After both of those incidents, I wanted to say something rude back to E, but restrained myself. I have never regarded E as venerable, so I wasn't really hurt by her comments. I just found them to be insensitive and uncalled for. Perhaps they were lame attempts at humor or to gain attention. I actually think that calculating the correct answer to a somewhat complex probability problem in my head was enough of a retort to disprove E's assertion that I am "too old to do two things at once".
After watching Dr. Sue's presentation, I had a better idea of what motivates people like E to utter such things. (E's biases are not limited to people who are older than she. They extend to people who [she perceives to be] heavier and less educated as evidenced by careless comments that I have heard her utter to others. Dr. Sue's presentation has caused me to be much more thoughtful in speech (which has been a long- term endeavor) and aware of the different nuances in the spoken language. I'd rather not offend anyone or be thought of in the way that I perceive E.
Reference
Laureate (2011)(producer). Video:“Microaggressions in Everyday Life”.
About a year ago, I cut my once very long hair into a pixie cut. Last week, when E and I were working in a room together, she paused from helping a child to wash his hands and said to me, "You know, when I am old like you, I will cut my hair short". (By the way, I am 37 years old). Before I watched Dr. Sue's presentation, I just thought that it was another characteristically irresponsible comment made E. Now, I believe that her comment could be classified as a mircroaggression.
Another example of E's bias against old(er) people came up this week. I paused in speech while talking to another coworker (in E's presence) as I was calculating the probability of entering a random five digit code in the center's door security system and coming up with a valid entry code, allowing one entry without an assigned PIN, in my head (as had just occurred). E, who was not involved in the conversation at all, said "Give it a minute, she's too old to do two things at once". In response, I turned my back to E and gave the
answer to my other co-worker.
After both of those incidents, I wanted to say something rude back to E, but restrained myself. I have never regarded E as venerable, so I wasn't really hurt by her comments. I just found them to be insensitive and uncalled for. Perhaps they were lame attempts at humor or to gain attention. I actually think that calculating the correct answer to a somewhat complex probability problem in my head was enough of a retort to disprove E's assertion that I am "too old to do two things at once".
After watching Dr. Sue's presentation, I had a better idea of what motivates people like E to utter such things. (E's biases are not limited to people who are older than she. They extend to people who [she perceives to be] heavier and less educated as evidenced by careless comments that I have heard her utter to others. Dr. Sue's presentation has caused me to be much more thoughtful in speech (which has been a long- term endeavor) and aware of the different nuances in the spoken language. I'd rather not offend anyone or be thought of in the way that I perceive E.
Reference
Laureate (2011)(producer). Video:“Microaggressions in Everyday Life”.
It appears E has a lot to learn. Thank you so much for sharing. I know this was not meant to be funny but as an older adult (Ha!Ha!) I found it amusing and humorous.
ReplyDeleteKristi
Thanks for your input, Kristi. And, I too find it funny in retrospect.
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